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If you’ve stumbled onto my blog, you’ll likely find that I talk about creating and selling online courses and share about my personal life and family. I built my business brand values on flexibility knowing that one day I would have my own children.
Back in 2023, I was excited to talk about new business ventures. My favorite thing was connecting with like-minded business owners such as coaches, consultants, and service providers who wanted to grow their income and influence with a course, program, or membership. I had spent the majority of 2023 working towards the adoption of my two children as well as planning a large move out of state. In front of my small but connected audience, I was very open about my challenges with infertility as well as my depression and anxiety.
While I had significant success in my coaching and consulting offers through online marketing, I felt a huge drain on my mental, emotional, and spiritual energy. I had worked towards a goal of adoption for nearly 7+ years and when it finally came to pass, my body and soul felt unprepared for the shift that came afterward.
Read My Case Study With Elise Darma : How This Coach Made $7k With A Brand New Program With 1k Followers on Instagram
Listen to My Client Case Study With My Coach Yael: How nailing her positioning brought in $7K in under a month (while adopting her children) with Melody Johnson
Yet, in denial I continued to market a new program that I was so excited about at the time. The truth: my high touch program wasn’t the problem – my capacity was. As I continued to market (going on livestreams, creating podcast episodes, sharing email newsletters) I realized that the program I envisioned and my own ability to deliver it was no longer feasible. And for a good deal of time, I wrestled with how to come back to my own business rhythms. But the truth was the old rhythms of business no longer served me.
The Power of Presence in Your Online Business
One of my first lessons in theater was to listen. Not just to words but to the energy in the room, the subtle shifts in tone and emotion. I learned to embrace each moment, fully committing to the script and saying “yes” to whatever came next. Some of the most unforgettable scenes weren’t about the lines themselves but the quiet moments between them—spaces alive with emotion and connection.
Years later, as a new teacher, I discovered a similar truth. I was taught to “scan the room,” a practice of observing and sensing the mood of a classroom. It wasn’t just about managing attention; it was about feeling the energy of the space, being present with my students, and adjusting to meet their needs. Presence, I realized, is a skill—one that deepens with practice.
When I stepped into the world of online business, this lesson became my foundation. Whether writing a blog post, recording a podcast, or sharing a quick Reel or TikTok, I understood that presence transcends the stage or classroom. It’s in the words we choose, the stories we tell, and the connections we build with our audience.
Presence is the heartbeat of every conversation, every post, and every piece of content we share. It’s how we make others feel seen, heard, and understood. And when we bring that presence into our work, it has the power to transform not only our business but also the lives we touch.
But with presence comes emotional energy and capacity. After adopting my two children, I found it more and more difficult to find my own presence in my ability to deliver that same presence to my community and my business.
I could no longer wake up early or work an entire day without interruption from children, schools, teachers or doctors. There was an entirely new set of checklists in front of me each day for each child. Each child had their own schedule, their own meals they preferred, and of course I was dealing with my own past traumas and triggers.
Going from zero kids to 2 kids over 9 was a huge transition.
Silly me for thinking it would be easy!
After three months of moving to a new state and still not emotionally and mentally recovering from a new transition as a mother, I sought support from therapists and found new friends. I wanted to taste what it meant not to share my entire life on social media. I wanted to grieve behind closed doors (because becoming a mother is both wonderful and also full of its own challenges). I wanted the space to figure out my “next step” whatever that was.
The Creative Freedom Enigma
For years, my creative energy was consumed by my business. Every idea, no matter how inspiring, carried an unspoken pressure: Will this be profitable? The rush to monetize every spark of creativity dulled the joy of simply creating. In a world drowning in content, I found myself chasing trends and profits instead of the pursuits that truly spoke to my soul.
The Courage to Press Pause and Rebuild
So, I did something that felt counterintuitive: I pressed pause. Over the course of 10 months, I gave myself permission to rebuild—not as an entrepreneur chasing the next big win but as a person reconnecting with the things that make life meaningful. I invested in my mental health through counseling, medication, and reconnecting with community.
I joined a new church. Became a PTO board member. Volunteered at a dog shelter and helped out at my local USO group. I experimented in the kitchen, baking pumpkin pasties with my husband and whipping up trendy coffees (seriously, have you tried whipped coffee?). I threw movie parties for my kids, sang karaoke just for fun, and even rediscovered my love for writing fiction.
Each of these moments, as simple or silly as they seemed, became a small act of reclaiming my creative freedom.And somewhere in that process, I felt a shift. The pressure to produce gave way to a genuine desire to connect.
Reclaiming Creativity and Joy
Slowly, the spark to return to my business reignited—not as the same person I was before, but as someone with new stories, fresh perspectives, and a heart that craved authenticity over perfection.
Maybe you’re in a similar place. Maybe you’re feeling that nudge to pause, pivot, or pursue something that feels truer to you. Or maybe you’re just here, wondering what’s next. Wherever you are on your journey, I want you to know you’re not alone.
Here’s to letting go of the pressure, embracing the pause, and rediscovering the joy in the journey.
Thanks for visiting and reading.
Thanks for being here.
I really truly appreciate you.
Best Wishes and Hugs,
Melody
